40… Almost 

So I’m turning 40. I know right, this hot mess doesn’t look a day over 38 and a half! But it’s eating at me. 

I remember when I turned 25 and thinking “Oh my God, my life is almost half done!”, now my life may very well actually be half done! 

It’s a crisis of sorts. On one hand I look back at all of the things I’ve done and accomplished, places I’ve been, people I’ve met and on the other sits my life moving forward and the uncertainty it holds. I guess I’m not unlike anyone else in that aspect, just with different uncertainties. 

I’m trying to be positive about what my 40’s will bring, but I’m not going to lie, this week has been tough. 

I celebrated my 25th with a tattoo of a Gemini symbol, it stopped looking that way, and I got rather tired of saying “No, I didn’t tattoo an old boyfriends’ initials on my shoulder.” So I had it covered quite a few years ago. I’m contemplating another for 40. Obviously this one won’t be so spur of the moment. Or be done by a guy named Spider. 

I’m also contemplating staying in my bed all day Saturday, cancelling my nail appointment with my mother in law, and wallowing in my tears. Like I said, it’s been a hard week. 

But I know Endi will probably push me out the door, because I need my nails done and it’s a nice gift. I don’t know if he’s feeling 40 the same way I am. If he is, he’s hiding it better than me. 

Maybe I can look at 40 as a rebirth of sorts. A second half of my life celebration. 

Just let me wait until Sunday to get over mourning the first half of my life.  

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Coleen says:

    Summer, definitely go and get your nails done AND the tattoo too! It’s sort of like seeing the glass half full or half empty… We never know how long we’ll live so you don’t know if your life is half over or just a third over. Look at all the things you’ve done in 40 years and celebrate them and try to look forward to the next however-many years with anticipation… Enjoy the blessings each day brings… especially the mani-pedis with your family!! Try a wild colour maybe! Happy birthday!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Coleen says:

      I realize I spelled your name wrong, I’m sorry Sommer!

      Like

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