Every time my pressure is up I have a harder time. A little more tired, a touch more irritable, a lot more emotional. But the absolute worst thing that happens is the confusion. Being confused before IIH would always be annoying, maybe even a little embarrassing depending on the situation, let’s face it I’ve always…
Nope I can’t remember your name either
So I call everyone “Hun” or “Honey” or “Sweetheart”. Not because I really love you SOOO much or because I really want to demoralize you and make you feel like you’re my pet, but because I haven’t a clue what your name is. I sometimes have been told your name not 5 minutes before and there…
I’m absolutely NOT sorry
I hate New Year’s resolutions but I always make an informal one with myself and try to keep it, this year, stop apologizing for shit I’m not sorry for. Example: “I’m sorry, I’m not feeling well.” or “I’m so sorry I have plans that night.” or “I’m sorry, it’s raining out.” You see what I’m…
Resentful
I got resentful yesterday. Like really resentful. What the fuck? I’m not usually like that. This is the first time in recent memory that I’ve been actually resentful of someone that is living pain-free. It came on like a wave. The emotions were so foreign that I didn’t know how to stop them, it was…
I screamed
I screamed. I screamed from the tips of my toes to the top of my head out of rage and sadness and loss and regret. I screamed because I had lost all control and I didn’t know how to contain my emotions anymore. I screamed through my tears. I screamed for what felt like hours…
#BellLetsTalk
So let’s talk… When I was diagnosed with my mental illness I was 26. I had a break down. There I was a single mom, living at home with my mother, struggling to find the positive and see our future. I remember thinking “Oh my God, I’m crazy! This is what crazy feels like!” I…
That day you referred to your Neurosurgeon as “Uncle Deep-Pockets”…
I found out that my neurosurgeons’ contract wasn’t going to be renewed in early December. I literally thought I was loosing a family member. He has been like a trusted Uncle that you only see at weddings or if you need money. ‘Uncle Deep-Pockets’… Only in this case he doesn’t have deep pockets, or if…
“OMG! I would love to be off work!”
Picture this… You’re in your 20’s, you’re just starting or graduating school, you’re working that survival job until you really find that ‘dream’ position (if that’s possible), not enough time has past so that you haven’t drifted apart from your friends from high school. You have, for all intents and purposes, a budding future. With…
Intracranial Hypertension and Brain Tumours… Similar but different
Trigger Warning: Discussion about suicide in this blog post. When you first notice something is wrong with you, what’s the first thing you do? I know from my experience that I ignored it. I would tell myself it was stress, or I was tired, or, or, or. I literally could think of anything else being…
New Doctor Date
The day finally came. The day I’ve been waiting months for. The day I have been reminding Endi, and him reminding me about since November. NOVEMBER!Two days before Endi’s birthday we set the car on autopilot to our favourite, er… not so favourite hospital for yet another doctors appointment. But this one was special… ist. …
40… Finally!
I woke up, what is now yesterday morning, dreading the entire day. What I didn’t know was that it was going to be one of the single best days of my whole life. See I turned 40. To me this number scared me to no end and I couldn’t, and still can’t, quite put my finger…
40… Almost
So I’m turning 40. I know right, this hot mess doesn’t look a day over 38 and a half! But it’s eating at me. I remember when I turned 25 and thinking “Oh my God, my life is almost half done!”, now my life may very well actually be half done! It’s a crisis of sorts….
Happy Anniversary IIH
It started with a spot. I tried to wipe it away, but for some reason my eyes would not give me that spot back. I held my head to the side so I could see in some sort of focus, but it was difficult. I had a headache, but this wasn’t a normal headache. This headache…
